go to sleep...go to sleep...go to sleep...

For the past few days, sleeping has become a bit of a chore. It's the same old story. I can usually fall asleep when I get into my bed, but I always wake up a little while later and cannot for the life of me relax enough to get back to sleep. Sometimes my heart is racing for no reason. Sometimes my mind is running thought marathons. Sometimes I wake up panicking for no good reason. Sometimes the anxiety is so intense that there is no possibility of me talking myself out of it. It's so intense that writing or drawing it out doesn't work. Even a book, a movie on Netflix, music, or playing video games doesn't ease the irrational fear of nothing. It exhausts me - Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. You name it.

I need to eat better and get more magnesium into my diet. I need to do better with drinking more water. I need to reestablish my nighttime routine, including drinking jasmine tea before bed to relax my body. I might try kava kava and see if it helps with my latest anxiety and sleep problems. I'm looking into aromatherapy and finding ways to use it to help me to relax while sleeping, doing deep breathing exercises, or meditating. I need to start writing in my journal again and dump my ridiculous thoughts there and exorcise all the shit going on in my brain. I need to try to avoid caffeine or intake less - caffeine makes my heart beat too fast if I have too much and make it feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I also need to do a better job at reconnecting with people I have lost contact with over the years. 

Ah, there's so much to do... and the anxiety continues. 

Silly me.