Thursday, December 12, 2013

Oh, hello there...

It has been almost a year since I've written anything. Quite frankly, I have wondered about just letting this blog die. Not even sure if anyone visits this old thing anymore. I should write more. If not here, then at the very least in a notebook. So here it goes...

Things have been going well in my life. Almost to the point where it frightens me how much happier I am now than I've been in the past.

I've been dating a great guy for over a year now and he's influenced my life in positive ways. Couldn't wish for a better friend and I'm very happy with him. Also, I finally declared a major in Psychology, which I know I'll probably end up doing nothing really related to it. I should graduate Spring 2015. For some stupid reason I thought taking 19 credits would be an awesome idea. Amazingly, I'm going to pull it off with A's and A-'s. Pretty shocked about that. I'm taking another 18 credits next semester, so I can get done faster. When I think about only having 3 semesters left, it fills me with hope.

I quit my job in order to focus on my classes, which was a smart move. That place was becoming a toxic environment and I ended up sacrificing my own health. If there is anything I've learned from the experience it is... if your job is so stressful that it gets to the point where you can no longer sleep, eat, function, and seem to decline mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, then it's probably best to find employment elsewhere. Hell, I'm sure McDonald's would provide a better work environment than what I was dealing with at my last job. I wouldn't change that 4 year experience for the world, but I'm not kidding when I say that place tore me to shreds. I took a solo trip to Yellowstone in May and the last day I was there I almost had a panic attack thinking about returning to work. That night, I suddenly jumped from a dream and I said out loud "It's time to quit my job." When I considered it previously, the timing never seemed right, but this time it did. When I thought about it, I only felt peace about it and I knew deep down, it was right. I ended up staying a bit longer than intended, but I quit at the end of October. I've never felt so good. Eventually I'll get another job. I still have enough money saved up that I should make it through this next semester just fine.

When I finish college, I've decided that I'd like to do some traveling. Iceland is on the top of my list. Plus it's safe for solo travel for women. I've already started planning a trip and driving routes. It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN. It's going to happen! Maybe I'll hit up the UK or Norway or something while I'm over there. Might as well, right? Maybe after that New Zealand or if I'm up to something a little crazier, perhaps Southeast Asia.

I always seemed to feel lost in life before and oddly enough things don't bother me like they used to. Sure, things still hurt me and tear me down from time to time. There are some current family issues that gut me to the core, however, I've accepted that things will get better and they truly are getting better. For one of the first times in my life, I actually see light. While things can be bleak from time to time, I finally can recall warmth in others and now I feel hopeful about life. It's a great feeling. I wish more people had the opportunity to feel this. My life is actually coming together. Never thought this would ever happen.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

My Life Lately (in pictures)...

Yeah, I'm addicted to The Big Bang Theory. 
I watched 5 seasons in just a couple weeks. 
Oh, dear.

I've been psyched for Season 3 of Downton Abbey.
I don't want to bother watching the US version. 
It comes out on DVD on the 29th of this month.

I've decided my next solo trip will be Olympic National Park in WA. 
Who wouldn't want to visit somewhere that looks like this?

I love eating greek yogurt with granola for breakfast.
It's nice to take to work.

I'm taking a Biological Anthropology class.
I have to read a lot (3 textbooks), but it's worth it.

I finally watched A Midnight in Paris. I liked it. 
It's certainly quirky, but very enjoyable. 
Marion is lovely as always.

I know a ton of girls who love The Young Victoria. 
I wasn't expecting much, but I ended up loving it. 
Emily Blunt did a great job in this movie!

I love peach flavored things.
This tea is a great reason to wake up early.

Math. I HATE it. 
My class has given me so much anxiety.

Work stress.
My job has been giving me daily stress headaches.

I actually liked A Dangerous Method. 
It's very difficult to not love Viggo Mortensen though.

Work has been making consider alcoholism.
"Healthier" alternative: A bottle of Sparkling Cider a day.
Excessive "drinking" without getting drunk.
Maybe it would be easier to just drink alcohol. Haha!

The Middle is such a funny show. 
I love the clash of everyone's distinct personalities.
Here's a clip:

Friday, November 2, 2012

Hi. Remember me?

I miss having the desire and ability to write.

I guess you could say I have had months and months of writer's block. No subject interested me and sadly, I'm not sure what subject interests me lately. A lot has changed in my life and I've been re-evaluating many things.

My only obsession lately has been organizing my room and throwing everything away. Want to know how much progress I've made? None. I made piles and piles of stuff to go through and they are still sitting there waiting to be touched. I've been in this weird mood where I almost want to light my room on fire and start over - in other words, I would find it much more useful to take everything out of my room and then only bring back what I want in there. The rest is thrown away. Maybe it's the feeling of starting a new chapter and I feel too much clutter.

I've been looking into moving out of my house and checking out various apartments and condos. I've been trying to work out a budget to see what I can afford and if I can manage living on my own instead of living in my parent's basement. Truly, free rent is great and getting the occasional free meal is awesome too. However, living with my parents is crushing me socially. My family still thinks I'm 9 years old instead of 25 and when I finally start going out or I'm trying to establish more independence in my life, they panic and want me to stay home. It's time to try something new. It's time to live on my own.

I've been having all kinds of health issues lately. Not sure what the hell is going on. I know one of my problems is acid reflux, but there are many others. I have spent at least $200 in the past 2 weeks on various doctor visits, antibiotics, supplements, foods, etc just to try to get better. I'm going to wait things out for a little while before I consider getting more blood tests or body scans.

I'm still not sure what I want to do for school. Part of me says "Art! Do art!" The other side of me says "Be practical!" I hate every practical subject though. I'm starting to consider teaching. I'm still considering Graphic Design, Illustration, Animation, Anthropology and Psychology. There are days where I want to sell everything I have and just live in a forest...maybe Yellowstone even. So, if I decide to go to school this semester. I'm taking art classes and a biological anthropology class. I think I'm going to minor in Chinese. I miss the language so much. It's still there - buried very deep. I realized this when listening to some Chinese music I had on my ipod and realizing I could understand some of it still. Maybe next Fall I will sign up for a Chinese class and see how I do. When it comes down to it, I am still drawn to learning languages and doing art. Maybe I should become a hippie. Ha!


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Ice cream for...serial killers? Part 2

Just when I thought an advertisement couldn't get any weirder, I found this little gem.

I almost died laughing when I saw the end with the tongue.

Oh my. Sign me up for a road trip to this ice cream place. These people are so delightfully twisted and have a great sense of humor. Who tries to sell ice cream in the creepiest, most disturbing way possible?

Amazing stuff, really.

Ice cream for...serial killers?

This is by far the scariest and yet the funniest advertisement for ice cream I have ever seen in my entire life.

I'm pretty sure this ad would only appeal to serial killers due to it's cannibalistic nature and a creepy song from a music box in the background.

So, tell me...would you go to Pennsylvania just to try Little Baby's Ice Cream?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

TIME


People say TIMING is everything... 

SomeTIMES things work out the way you want them to and someTIMES they don't. SomeTIMES you have to WAIT longer than you'd like or maybe the TIMING never works out and you have no choice but to WATCH the desired opportunity slip PAST you because it was not meant to be or maybe you reacted too LATE when you should have made a move. It always hurts WHEN that happens. 

You never really know what TIME has in store for you. 

Maybe the TIME isn't NOW. Maybe your TIME to shine will happen LATER. Maybe the opportunity that slipped PAST you didn't really slip away at all. Maybe you just need to be PATIENT and WAIT a little while longer. Maybe the stars need a little more TIME to align.

There are so many opportunities for you TODAY and in the FUTURE

Keep your feet planted on the ground while you reach for the stars, but NEVER be afraid to act when you know you should.


Monday, August 13, 2012

Who I am at 25...



(Except when my internet is broken - damn you, laptop!)





























(I'm a perfectionist!)








(I can't sleep unless it's dark, but the dark scares me - I'm weird like that)



(I have an idea journal, but I've never done anything with those ideas)



(I prefer their company because they are kinder and more laid back.)

(A few photographers told me I have the most awkward smile they have ever seen.
I have hated getting my picture taken ever since.)



(As long as I know them well and trust them.)


(Anything to do with fire makes me happy.)




(I always laugh at the worst times.)


(I've been an insomniac since I was a kid.)

(Intelligence in boys is one of the most attractive traits of all.)





(It's not an "anti-social" thing, I do it to clear my head.)








(I LOVE keeping my room clean, but somehow I end up with 
book, notebooks, journals, etc strewn across my floor.)



(Because I really do...) :)





(Maybe one day I will be...)

(Hooray for insomnia!)

(I was told this for a long time. It's hard to make myself believe differently.)

(Nightmares, sleep paralysis, hypnopompic hallucinations, etc.
Sleep becomes a chore.)




(I'm just going to accept that it's going to take me awhile. 
I've got to take care of a few personal things first.)

(At 15, I never thought my life would be the way it is now.)

(If I were more brave and dropped my walls, I think a lot of people would like me.
It's just risking the rejection that terrifies me, even though it shouldn't.)



(...IF I reaaally like someone.)


(Even though they can't talk, they are much more loving, loyal, and sweet.)


(Maybe it's the fear of my hard drive crashing and losing everything, 
but it's nice to know I've got a hard copy somewhere.)





(Yeah, 5'0" is quite short, isn't it?) :)

(Always have, always will... It's a lot worse if I like someone.)






(Some people say my various laughs are hilarious. 
I think any laugh that comes out of my mouth is annoying.)

(Very unpopular view around here...but I believe they deserve their rights.)


(I'm trying to work on this, but sometimes I just swear like a sailor.)

(My coworkers laugh when they catch me talking to myself.)

(Always have and probably always will. Numbers are NOT my friends.)




(I could take a few lessons in assertiveness.)




(I consider this a positive thing many times. The what-ifs make me more creative, 
however, it becomes bad when the what-ifs make me paranoid.)