When I finish work, I always complain to myself about how I don't want to walk outside because it's freezing cold. I usually have to scrape off all the frost on my windows before I can drive away which adds to the length of time freezing to death - or so it seems. I always walk outside preparing for the worst and then I look up at the sky and stop. I think to myself "Wow. It sure is beautiful tonight!" I pick out Jupiter in the sky and continue walking to my car with a smile on my face. It's nice to admire the little things
It has been a weird year for me. So much and yet so little has happened, but I have felt a cascade of conflicting emotions. In ways my life got worse and in ways it got even better. I guess that's just life though. It's great AND it totally sucks. I've been known to get caught in downward spirals and with all the changes going on in my life, I've had an especially hard time keeping up. I try my best though. I know a lot of people love and care about me, but I know I isolate myself form others. I'm tired of doing this especially since I've been craving more interaction with others. By isolating myself, I am starving for a connection with others. I come home and feel pretty lonely which pushes me into a negative mindset. I always rely on the little things to bring me some happiness.
Tonight, it was the moon. The moon was just a thin curve. It resembled the Chesire cat's smile. It's my favorite phase - the waxing cresent. I see this moon phase as a reminder to smile more. Venus was visible right next to it, both about to set. I was driving as I saw them and could hardly pay attention to the road. Then something cool happened. I saw a shooting star jet across the sky cutting right through the area of where the moon and Venus were. It was really cool and just added to my love of simply seeing the moon and Venus disappear behind the mountains as they set.
A few weeks ago when there was a full moon, I woke up in the middle of the night unable to sleep and got some water. There was a crack in the blinds and I saw some light coming through. I looked outside and saw how my backyard looked in the moonlight and the way that the moon illuminated the bird bath. It was magical. I wish I could have taken a picture, but it was one of those moments where I said to myself "There is no way a camera could capture this magnificence." All I could do is take in the moment, smile, and go back to bed. It has stayed with me since.
Even though my life is an absolute mess, I somehow take comfort in the perfection of nature. There is something strangely poetic about it.
wow JoJo
ReplyDeleteI'm so envious of your ability to write like this!!
just to be able to articulate such thoughts + feelings
they say everyone has 1 book in them ... I think your's
would be an amzing book ...
I totally agree - it sure is great when nature
can make you feel like that. I loved the phrase
'perfection of nature' - and not *just* used in
the sense of what you see all around you ...
morseo, what's in all of us :)
- George
Aww thank you so much for the kind compliment! :) I would love to write a book someday. I'm probably more likely to write a children's book than a novel or an autobiography, but I'd like to write something eventually.
ReplyDeleteAgain, thank you. I really do see nature as perfect even though sometimes it seems more like organized chaos. :) When I'm in nature I feel more balance than anywhere else. Between the beauty I see and the balance I feel, I find nature very comforting. Maybe it's just the knowing that I am a part of the universe and the universe is also within me.
Thank you for always being so nice and supportive of me. Really, it means a lot to me!