Too Perfect

Earlier this week the weather was sunny and in the mid-80's, but yesterday the rain clouds moved in. Last night, while standing in an abandoned parking lot in the pouring rain, I could smell it...snow. I could tell from the fresh scent in the air that it had to be snowing in the mountains or that it would.

I love the rain and snow. So did my friend Nick. He was a snowboarder and always got extremely excited when it was going to snow. He would joke around about how he invented a weather machine and he and his "evil" cat were responsible for anytime it snowed. He always made comments about how he was going to turn on his weather machine and blanket everything in snow.

Last night in the parking lot when I caught that scent in the air I got a little teary eyed, but slightly laughed and said out loud, "Nick, you and your damn weather machine!" because I used to say that to him all the time. I went to bed feeling lighter in my heart than usual and I slept well.

Last night I had nothing but dreams of snow, but when I woke up this morning, I was afraid to look outside and not see the mountains covered in white. If there wasn't any snow, it would have been devastating to me. Why? Because I've been struggling dealing with the fact that Nick is gone now, but through the snow, it made me feel like he's still around and making jokes about turning on his weather machine.

I hesitantly opened my door and looked outside. The mountains were covered by clouds so I couldn't see anything, but that fresh scent of snow overwhelmed the air. I figured there was at least a little bit of snow on the mountains. I closed the door and got ready for the day. I left the house later on to get some lunch. While driving, I felt like shit as usual until the clouds over the mountains started to clear and I saw that it had in fact snowed. If Nick were still around, I already knew what he would say and how happy he would be. For a few moments, even though gone, he was alive with me in my heart.

Wanting to make the most of the snow before it melts, I took another drive up the canyon. It was perfection. The trees were covered with leaves in every shade of red, orange, yellow, and green. Higher up on the mountains, the pine trees were dusted with snow. The combination was so beautiful that it was impossible for me to take pictures even though I had my camera. Absolutely NONE of them captured how beautiful it really was. I eventually gave up and realized some things are just too perfect and too beautiful that sometimes you just have to let those things remain a memory in your mind instead of trying to capture its soul with a picture.

It may sound incredibly silly, but I would relate that to my friendship with Nick. Anytime this week I have tried to explain to others what Nick meant to me, it has failed miserably. I have been able to get close, but not enough to nail it on the head. Maybe that's because our friendship was just too perfect and beautiful to describe in words. It could only be felt...and possibly only between us.

Today, I felt his presence in the snow and for the first time in a week, I genuinely smiled.

Nick and his damn weather machine...