Sunday, May 20, 2012

Terror Couple Kill Colonel

Oh my. How I LOVE Bauhaus! Terror Couple Kill Colonel will forever be my all time favorite song by Bauhaus. It's true that I'm a sucker for 70's & 80's Post-Punk bands. Bauhaus is just one of many amazing bands of that time.

TERROR COUPLE KILL COLONEL -
While many would be quick to list She's In Parties as their favorite, Terror Couple Kill Colonel has always had a special place in my heart.




CROWDS -
Crowds is the ultimate break up song. This song just proves the greatness of Peter Murphy with simply two lines: "You worthless bitch. You fickle shit." You can totally understand how heartbroken he is, yet you can't help, but to laugh as he just goes off pretty much announcing in every way that the person who broke his heart is the worst person on the planet. You will definitely feel better after you listen to this song. :)



Consequence of Sound

Ever since I first heard Regina's voice on her song Fidelity, I fell in love with her music because it's quite quirky and fun. She reminds me of a much happier Fiona Apple, but equally talented and brilliant.

I had Consequence of Sound on my iPod, but I had never listened to it until my trip to Yellowstone. I had it on repeat for the entire trip. There is so much going on lyrically in this song, yet she somehow is able to pull all of it together.

One of my favorite lines from this song are "But what if one of these days your heart will stop ticking and they sorta just don't find you 'til your cubicle is reeking." Reminds me of my job and being stuck in a cubicle all damn day. It's soul crushing to say the least. Haha!

Another favorite is the whole last verse, especially "And we keep on paying those freaks on the TV who claim they will save us but want to enslave us and sweating like demons they scream through our speakers, but we leave the sound on cause silence is harder. And no one's the killer and no one's the martyr the world that has made us can no longer contain us and prophets are silent and rotting away..."

It's one of my favorite songs now and I can't listen to it without putting it on repeat for HOURS at a time.

Monday, May 14, 2012

FAQ about my Solo Trip to Yellowstone

Okay. For those who haven't already heard, I am planning a 6-7 day solo trip to Yellowstone. I already booked my reservations. All I need to do is show up.

I have been amazed by the amount of criticism about my decision to do this. So, here you go - my answers to the most common questions I have been asked since my announcement about this trip.

1.) "Why in the world do you want to go to Yellowstone alone?"
First of all, I blame it on my last trip to Yellowstone last June in 2011. While I went with my parents, there were several moments where I wandered off on my own to explore. Those were the moments that I treasured most about my time spent there. In fact, there came a point in the trip where I ditched my parents and wandered alone more often - there were things I wanted to see that they did not care about. It's amazing what you will discover in Yellowstone when you wander a little bit, even if it's exploring the area around a rest stop - unexpected gorgeous views, fragrant wild flowers, wild animals off in the distance, animal bones, etc. I had nothing, but positive experiences when I was left by myself or wandered off. It was kind of amazing the way people responded to me and part of that had to do with my camera - people treated me like I was some kind of expert (talk about a major ego boost for an insecure girl). I pointed animals out to children and watched them squeal in excitement and then they pointed them out to their parents saying I helped them. Occasionally I struck up conversations with the other tourists who seemed indecisive about where they should go next in the park and gave them advice, although the exchanges were often brief, I met some of the most incredible people and my parents had no idea until I told them. I rubbed shoulders with wildlife photographers and asked them questions about their equipment. People came up to me when I was alone when I was taking a picture and simply said "I've never seen anywhere in the world like this place. Isn't it so incredible?" I love those moments - LOVE!

Second, going alone will allow me to make my own choice about where I want to be and for how long. If I'm tired of watching a bear, I can just leave and move on. If I want to sleep in until 11am (yeah right, I would never do that...), I could. There were moments I felt rushed. There were moments I wanted to take 20 minutes to write in my journal because some experience or something I saw took my breath away and it would be dumb to not document my powerful feelings about it. There were times I wanted to pull out my sketch book and draw for a little while, but there was never any time because we were headed off somewhere else or my dad was tired and wanted to go back to the cabin. I want to have the opportunity to spend as much time somewhere as I want.

Third, I want to do this for myself. Solo travel is something I have always wanted to do. Why? Because  I have allowed my whole life to be controlled by fear. Little by little, I'm learning that I don't need to be afraid of everything. There is still goodness in the world and some people truly are good at heart. I'm very good at pushing people away and keeping them as far away from me as possible. I need to learn to reconnect with people and trust them. This trip will challenge me in so many ways. Solo travel will also help me to trust my intuition to avoid bad situations. It will help me learn more independence and self-sufficiency. Yeah, I'm nervous. Yeah, there are things about this trip that scare me a little bit, but mostly because I've never done anything on my own like this before. Sure, it would be more ideal to go to Yellowstone with more people, but honestly, I've never felt so sure that this is the right thing to do for myself now.

Fourth, I picked Yellowstone because I have been there before. I am very familiar with it and feel like I can handle being alone there. It will be different and challenging, but in a way it will be comforting for me. I plan on doing solo travel internationally at some point, I figure I should get some practice with solo travel in the States.    

2.) "Are you crazy/stupid/out of your mind?"
Actually, yes - that's part of the reason I am doing this. I have an anxiety disorder and it prevents me from believing in my ability to do things on my own and that the world is a scary place and I should stay within the layers and layers of walls I have built around myself to prevent myself from getting hurt. Consider this trip a form of therapy. Honestly, this trip is less expensive than therapy, and I'm positive I will walk away with more confidence than I would from talking face to face with a therapist. I actually have been talking to a therapist about my desire for solo travel and she recommended that it would be good for me and that I should start with a place that I love and am familiar with and work from there. Of course, I'm going to choose Yellowstone.

3.) "Why not just work there over the summer?"
I'm actually still considering it, but I think I need an actual solo trip to challenge me. By working in the park, I still would rely on other people to take care of me. With a solo trip, I only have myself. That's what I'm going for - can I survive on my own in a beautiful, but dangerous place? Depending on how this trip goes, I'll probably quit my current job this winter or next spring and work in Yellowstone next summer.

4.) "What if you get attacked or eaten by wolves?"
First of all, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! When was the last time that you heard about a wolf attacking a person, especially in Yellowstone? Wolves generally want NOTHING to do with humans. By the way, I'm not planning on hiking in areas where wolves will be present, but thank you for your concern.

5.) "What if you get attacked or eaten by mountain lions?"
Again, when was the last time you heard about mountain lion attacks in Yellowstone? There are so few mountain lions in the park and they are such a rare sight that you'd have to be hiking way out in the backcountry to actually find one. I have a better chance of getting attacked by a lynx in Yellowstone than getting attacked by a mountain lion. Again, like the previous question, I won't be hiking around in the backcountry where mountain lions are present.

6.) "What if you get attacked or eaten by bears?"
Okay, NOW you're onto something that is a realistic concern. People get attacked by bears every year in Yellowstone and that's because they did something seriously wrong like hiking in the back country alone, without bear spray, and hiked in an area they knew bears were currently present in the area. Again, I'm not planning on doing a lot of serious hiking and if I do, I will go on ranger-led hikes or ask some people if I can tag along so I'm not alone and vulnerable. I'm aware of the risks of being alone in bear country. I will have bear spray and I won't be in areas by myself where I'm going to take a bear by surprise. There are plenty of safety precautions I can take to ensure that my experience in Yellowstone will be safe and enjoyable - it just might require a little more boldness from me like asking people to join their group.

7.) "What if you get gored by bison, elk, moose, etc?"
Honestly, this is my biggest fear. Of all the wildlife, I'm more afraid of the bison and anything with horns/antlers than I am of the carnivorous creatures. I always have been. Bison are very territorial and will charge you if you get too close. Generally if you keep your distance, you'll be okay. As long as you run faster than someone else, you'll probably be fine. Morbid, I know. ;) I'm not planning on petting any of these animals, so I don't think I'm going to run into any major problems with bison.

8.) "You're going to get raped/murdered/kidnapped/sold into the sex trade/etc..."
I am more afraid of the two-legged creatures than the four-legged ones. I'll have bear spray with me and luckily it works for both two-legged and four-legged creatures. Plus, I am quite vicious and I know I would be a straight up bitch in self-defense mode.

9.) "Are you going to camp in a tent?"
Nope. I'm staying in a cabin.

10.) "What if your car breaks down?"
Well, that would really suck. However, I'm getting a AAA membership.

11.) "How are people going to know where you are with little to no cell phone coverage?"
I will use a GPS tracking device that updates my whereabouts on a map for my loved ones back home.

12.) "What are you going to do?"
Ha! What I usually do - wildlife watching, drive around, take pictures, explore, have picnics in gorgeous places, watch geyser eruptions, boat on Yellowstone Lake, sketch, hike (this may be a bit limited due to being alone), relax, learn about myself, challenge myself, etc.

I'm sure there are other questions and concerns that people have. Either way, I appreciate your concern about me, but I truly believe that this trip will help me build more confidence.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Cliche

When I was little, my family didn't have much money. If I listened to music, it was either on the radio, on MTV and VH1 (you know, when they actually played music), records I borrowed from the library (my family didn't have a cd player for a long time), or someone else's cassette tapes. I loved music and hated that I never really had any tapes or cds to call my own. Perhaps that was a contributing factor to my love of music - I had to work my butt off to get exposure to it.

 I have always been a big soundtrack nerd. In fact, as a child, I probably liked a movie if the soundtrack was good. I never owned any soundtracks, but always wanted one. My favorite soundtrack as a kid was The Lion King, no, not the songs with words, I was drawn to the music in the background. It was probably from that moment that I began really paying attention to soundtracks and picking songs apart and focusing on certain sounds.

 In 1997, when I was 10, my oldest sister got married and we never really saw each other after that. One day she sent me a cassette tape with a letter saying that she saw the movie Titanic and the music was really great. She said that she was sure I would love it. Honestly, I think I was more excited about having my very own cassette tape of something. I popped it in and listened to it over and over and over again. I absolutely LOVED the soundtrack. I hadn't even seen the movie, but decided I loved it based on the music. It wasn't until Titanic was released on VHS before I saw it for the first time and I finally got to see the scenes that went along with the music. In ways I was disappointed because what I pictured in my mind as the scene was so much more beautiful than what the scene really was and in other ways, it fueled the magic that the music created for me.

I know it's really cliche of me to talk about this movie, especially lately when they re-released it for no good reason. I'm not really a fan of the movie, but the soundtrack is good. I hadn't listened to the soundtrack in probably 10 or so years until a few weeks ago. I was amazed at the memories that flooded back when listening to it.

 Here are some of my favorite songs from the album:

Southampton:
It sounds really dorky now, but when I was 10, this song absolutely blew my mind. It reminded me of the original trailer because this song began playing when Rose steps out of the car with her giant hat and lifts her head exposing her face for the first time in the movie. Ever since I saw Sense and Sensibility I absolutely adored Kate Winslet and to me she just looked SO beautiful. To me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. This song represented the excitement and wonder of the movie itself to me. I would rewind this song over and over again and listen to it. I thought it was magical.
 

Rose:
Oh yes, the stereotypical favorite song of the movie. I thought it was beautiful as a kid. Now, when I listen to it, I laugh. Somewhere in the back of my head I just hear "JACK!"... "ROSE!"... "JACK!"... "ROSE!"... because that's almost all you hear during the entire film.


Ocean of Memories:
Honestly, I don't like the song except for one section of it. I would listen to it over and over again and "dance" to it. I listened to it the other night for the first time in years and I still think it's beautiful, but honestly, that section is the only really good part of the song. The section of the song I'm talking about is: 1:33-2:20 but especially 1:33-1:58. The rest of it, I don't really care for. This is the one song that pissed me off about the part in the movie. I would have thought that my favorite section would have a significant part in the movie and it doesn't, in fact, Im not really sure it's in the movie.


Third Class Party scene:
This song was excluded from the soundtrack, but when I actually saw the movie, I absolutely LOVED the music from this scene. I'm sad that you can't find this song anywhere, except for a version that was released later with soundbites from the movie. The music is just too great. I wish more people had parties like this these days.

Music May

I've decided the only way I'm ever going to start writing on this blog again is to come up with topics to write about. So... For the month of May, I will write on music. I will talk about various songs that have impacted me in different ways during different times of my life. Many of the songs I will talk about will probably only have a real meaning to me, so there may be times where you say "But Jo, that song seriously sucks." Yeah, you're probably right, but there's always a reason why I love a song.